Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Swimming in Air

I can't believe I haven't updated in such a long time, and I apologize to anyone who actually cares.  Not a lot has happened in my life that I really can tell you; it's just the same things day after day.  I did take a different daily vitamin than I usually do this morning, on an empty stomach like always, and I must say, I wouldn't recommend it unless you want to start off your day throwing up.  Fortunately, my stomach barely managed to remain where it was, which I was grateful for given that I was en route to work.  That would be an awkward moment in the car...if I'm home, however, then I will probably purposely take it to see if it actually works destroys my stomach.  I've also heard taking a shot of straight cinnamon does the same thing.  I'll test it for you this weekend and let you know.

Throughout my day, though, I couldn't help but notice that I felt like I was walking through water or swimming in air.  Perhaps that's because of my confusion between reality and dreams, but sometimes the days just don't seem real.  Or my head was just too fuzzy. Regardless, it's an odd feeling that I seem to experience every day, and I'm idly wondering when I'll finally wake up. Or do I even want to?  I'm torn between believing life is a brutal existence and utterly pointless and believing life should be valued and enjoyed for its shortness.

What is easier: accepting misery or wishing for something you'll never have?

And here today I was calling someone a Debby Downer at work...he claimed he was just being realistic (which is always what I say after someone accuses me of being a pessimist). I'm such a damn hypocrite.  At least I know it, I suppose.