Clownlike Faces

One of these days, I will write something other than my made-up lyrics. It's too bad you can't hear the melody and the piano to them...but you'll have to imagine the somber music and harsh notes.

I'm seeing clown-like faces on the street before me.
It's like a spastic circus under the guise of normalcy.
I'm see flashing lights and neon signs.
It's like herding cattle on a Saturday night.

I'll bleed my name in diamonds; I'll polish my bones.
Spruce myself up so when I fall it's still a show.
My dreams are crashing down, pull the curtain; it's time to run.
Let's the paint the stage red with what's bleeding from my arm.

 And all those people who are screaming my name cannot see my pain.
And all those flashes and Cheshire grins are enough to make me insane.

Because in the city lights, I'm just one lonely soul.
And under the neon signs, crawl too many lonely people.
And I can barely stand; I can barely breathe.
What's one person in a city of people just like me?

So I'll dance to the beat of my own drum,
And I'll sing to the notes of my own song.
And I'll dance to the bum-bum-bum-bum-bum.
And when I fall, will someone help me up?

I can't even remember my name

I've written thoughts I'll never say aloud, unsung lyrics to a silent song.
I hold my breath for fear that I'll cry; to stop the rain pouring from my eyes.
My stomach's filled with butterflies, and I don't know why.
I'm nervous for something to crash into my life.
My paranoid mind won't halt the thoughts racing through my head,
And I'm terrified that I'll regret all the things I've  left unsaid.

I'm a forgettable figure, I'm a forgettable face.
A forgotten nothing, unforgivable disgrace.
And I'm worth nothing, I can't even remember my name.
I look in mirror and see a stranger in my place.

I yearn to be someone beautiful and kind who's not ignored and thrust aside.
I used to smile but knew it didn't reach my eyes so I practiced til I was satisfied.
My stomach's filled with butterflies, and I don't know why.
I'm waiting for something to crash into my life.
My paranoid mind won't halt the thoughts racing through my head,
And I know that I'll regret all the things I've left unsaid.

I'm a forgettable figure, I'm a forgettable face.
A forgotten nothing, unforgivable disgrace.
And I'm worth nothing, I can't even remember my name.
I look in the mirror and see a stranger in my place.

I wish that I could be a child running through the field
with not a care in the world, dandelions at my heels.
But when I was young, the grass itched my feet,
and I cried and wished that I wasn't me.
And here I am, letting hope fall from my hands
Because it's always been this way and people never change.