Moving on, I was going to post a poem, but I have an actual dilemma. See, I've been trying to mentally figure out how long I can pretend that I "want to go slow" with this new guy I've been having dinner with on occasion. I won't say we're dating because I just can't handle that kind of acknowledgement, BUT eventually, he's going to get sick of me if I continue to stop him from being a typical male. They always just want one thing, and I feel like I'm always being used. They'll buy me lots of drinks, and then I wake up, thinking, "shit, what happened?" Naturally, I don't ask because I don't want to know. Ignorance is bliss, yes?
I don't like to be touched; it creeps me out. It probably goes with what I was saying in my previous post. When anyone touches me on my shoulder, head, etc, etc, I just feel strange, like a tingle or an out of body experience. I'm not very well connected with my physical body, and I frequently try to pretend like it's not actually mine. But this poses a problem when starting a relationship with someone. Constantly being afraid just makes things worse, and can someone truly be alone forever? Maybe I will be; I don't honestly know.
There's also the problem with my arms having scars up and down them. Mederma, why haven't you been working your magic? Mendacious little fucker. It's hard for me to figure out how someone would react to that kind of thing. To me, it seems like no big deal, but my thoughts tend not to be in line with other people. I think it will just be the end of our little fling. So I guess I'll just enjoy it while it lasts, knowing that it's going to end abruptly.
P.S. I'm wondering how many people will be playing Quidditch in parking lots tonight. I don't know when I'll finally drag my ass to a movie theatre, but hopefully everyone has smiling faces tomorrow. Oh, and I'm going to try to incorporate my GRE words into my posts periodically because that's the only way I'll learn my vocab before the exam...most of the words are absolutely ridiculous...WAIT!
I have a word for that: onerous (in my erudite opinion).