Sunday, January 9, 2011

Week One

Wow, it's been a while since I last posted, and I can attribute the reason for that to be the enormous schoolwork that has been swamping me already...and yes, I've only had one week of classes.  This is going to be a long quarter, but I graduate after it.

I have to say, though, that I prefer to be ridiculously busy because it keeps my mind on other things and helps me not to eat.  I know that's terrible, but I actually forget to eat when I have so much to do.  And when I'm running from one place to another, I just continuously fill myself up with coffee for energy or a red bull.  I refuse to eat when I'm on the go, and I refuse to consume a meal quickly so if I have a time limit then I just don't eat.

Unfortunately I binged and purged yesterday and put some fresh marks on my left arm; that's what I did instead of going out on a Saturday night.  I've been feeling kind of down lately with regards to my personal life.  I'm eager to graduate, and I'm proud that I'm doing so early.  But when I think about my "friends" and (non existent) love life, I feel depressed.  I can't open up to people, hence I can't really have good friends.  I just wonder sometimes if maybe I do have a purpose in this world and what it could be.  Sometimes I imagine myself doing great things because, let's be honest, life can change dramatically in no time...wish I had a crystal ball.