Sunday, January 9, 2011

Week One

Wow, it's been a while since I last posted, and I can attribute the reason for that to be the enormous schoolwork that has been swamping me already...and yes, I've only had one week of classes.  This is going to be a long quarter, but I graduate after it.

I have to say, though, that I prefer to be ridiculously busy because it keeps my mind on other things and helps me not to eat.  I know that's terrible, but I actually forget to eat when I have so much to do.  And when I'm running from one place to another, I just continuously fill myself up with coffee for energy or a red bull.  I refuse to eat when I'm on the go, and I refuse to consume a meal quickly so if I have a time limit then I just don't eat.

Unfortunately I binged and purged yesterday and put some fresh marks on my left arm; that's what I did instead of going out on a Saturday night.  I've been feeling kind of down lately with regards to my personal life.  I'm eager to graduate, and I'm proud that I'm doing so early.  But when I think about my "friends" and (non existent) love life, I feel depressed.  I can't open up to people, hence I can't really have good friends.  I just wonder sometimes if maybe I do have a purpose in this world and what it could be.  Sometimes I imagine myself doing great things because, let's be honest, life can change dramatically in no time...wish I had a crystal ball.


  1. I think it´s good not knowing what´s going to happen
    Confrats for almoust finishing college!
    Try to do smt to cheer you up

  2. i wish i were graduating soon. 1.5 years left. :(
    im sorry your saturday night was so bad... i think thats what i did on friday, minus the purging. :P
    i hate thinking about the future because i always get so depressed.

    stay lovely, my dear, and good luck with school! <3

  3. my sister found my blog. I had to delete it... :\
    my whole year completely gone. i feel so empty now without it. She is also making me go to counseling.
    I still don't have a phone. Well I am using my moms but it isn't a full keyboard, and it sucks to text on.
    I will text you right when I get a new one which will be when my mom gets her next paycheck. Which is the begging of February. Stay strong <3 i love you.
    p.s. in response to your post, I wish I had a crystal ball too... cause sometimes I freakout about what my future is going to be.

  4. I used to have a blog awhile ago but now I am on a journey to recovery, to better eating habits!! I would be great if we could support each other =)

    “Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.”

    ♥ Bree