Wednesday, January 5, 2011


I've been really confused about things lately.  On one hand, I'm happy because there isn't too much drama going on in my life...although there never is since I just bring problems upon myself, but on the other hand, I feel as though I want to be as miserable as possible because that's how I'm most comfortable.  I think once you're used to a certain feeling, you just don't feel right when it's not there, and for me, a depression of sorts is part of who I am and without it, I'm lost.  Yet, at the same time, the dark thoughts and endless brooding terrifies me because I worry that eventually I'll snap and *poof* I'm dead.  Most of the time I don't care, but then there's times when I watch people around me and wish I could feel like them...but I don't know how that would be or what exactly I'm missing.  I just know I'm missing something.  I'm too confused to write and lacking all inspiration so I'll update better later.


  1. I totally agree with he one feeling thing. Im mostly happy when I'm alone and when I'm with people it's just so weird. I'm sorry your confused /:

    And no. I don't have a phone... I mean I'd text you if i did(: just telling you so if youndo text me you'll know why I don't answer.(:

  2. depression is one of my very close friendsm, unfortunately. i know what you mean and how you feel.
    im glad youre not sad, and find some other emotions / thoughts to feel and think.