Saturday, December 25, 2010

merry christmas i guess

my day was okay (other than me being a pig, of course), and i got a lot of cool gifts.  my favorite was the tote that my mom picked out for me; it's from fossil and has birds on it.

but all of the christmas joy was just sapped out of me about five minutes ago when my dad essentially called me fat.  i asked if there were chocolate chips left, as he reached for a handful, and he said that there were but that they're fattening.  so i commented that he was eating them, and he informed me that that was because he was skinny.

so i left and am in my room now.  if nothing else gives me motivation then surely one of my parents indirectly hinting that i'm a cow should.

merry fucking christmas.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Magic Pounds

You know that feeling when you've been the same size or same weight for a while and the fantastic high you had from losing weight turns into a sudden depression from not losing more weight?  Yeah, I have that.  My mind just can't wrap around the possibility that I'm the same size.  To me, it's like if I haven't lost weight then I must have gained it.  Because it's just not physically possible to not move either way.  Despite the fact that all of my clothes still fit, I swear I've turned into a whale.

I even went shopping with my mom today, who insisted that I try on some dresses since I don't have many.  I'm a sucker for Calvin Klein, and the clothes usually work for me (especially the sweater dresses) so I tried on piles of dresses...none really fit.  There was a sweater dress that was adorable with these long sleeves and cozy feel, but I didn't buy it.  And there was an adorable red dress that flared out a little bit at the hips and had some cool pleating, but it had one major problem:  it was sleeveless.  And while my mom just thinks I'm self conscious of my arms (which I am), I know that I can't buy a dress like that unless I always wear a blazer or sweater because of some sketchy, um, marks that litter my arms.  All of the other dresses were a bust because of the major problem with my body...aka my ass.  Sure, a bubble butt can be nice and an hourglass figure is great and everything, but I swear that no clothes are actually made for it.  Clothes that fit my butt are huge everywhere else.  I tried on a size 4 dress, and it was actually too big except for (can you guess?) ass.  It's just so frustrating because no matter what I put on could be dubbed too sexy because of how it curves around my rear end, and it severely cuts down on my selection of apparel.  Hence why I don't own many dresses or any skirts, for that matter.

So I would like to ask designers why the hourglass figure is supposedly the "ideal" shape when they don't actually make clothes for it?  Because my bubble butt, little waist, and D cups don't fit into anything.  Nothing is made with those proportions.  If anyone knows of a brand that has dresses or skirts that cater well to such a thing, please don't hesitate to let me know.