Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Confused

I've been really confused about things lately.  On one hand, I'm happy because there isn't too much drama going on in my life...although there never is since I just bring problems upon myself, but on the other hand, I feel as though I want to be as miserable as possible because that's how I'm most comfortable.  I think once you're used to a certain feeling, you just don't feel right when it's not there, and for me, a depression of sorts is part of who I am and without it, I'm lost.  Yet, at the same time, the dark thoughts and endless brooding terrifies me because I worry that eventually I'll snap and *poof* I'm dead.  Most of the time I don't care, but then there's times when I watch people around me and wish I could feel like them...but I don't know how that would be or what exactly I'm missing.  I just know I'm missing something.  I'm too confused to write and lacking all inspiration so I'll update better later.

2 comments:

  1. I totally agree with he one feeling thing. Im mostly happy when I'm alone and when I'm with people it's just so weird. I'm sorry your confused /:

    And no. I don't have a phone... I mean I'd text you if i did(: just telling you so if youndo text me you'll know why I don't answer.(:

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  2. depression is one of my very close friendsm, unfortunately. i know what you mean and how you feel.
    im glad youre not sad, and find some other emotions / thoughts to feel and think.

    <3

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