Friday, December 17, 2010

I fucked up again today :(

Binged and purged three times, only slight cutting, and am still awake even though I get up in three hours.  But I'm too afraid to go to bed again because I feel so damn guilty and am worried about waking up tomorrow and being excessively roll y poll y.  I really need to stop punishing myself by not allowing sleep because when you sleep you can't eat...and I think it boosts your metabolism.

Anyway, I just thought I'd toss in a short post of my thoughts before going to pack up to go home tomorrow (or rather, in several hours)...and I want to clean my apartment, too.  I think that will get my mind off of things, and I only work until noon tomorrow and then can take a nap or something.  Ugh, misery.

Seriously, why do I fuck myself over like this?  *Irritated*


  1. Sorry about the binges, I had 2 yesterday and I didn´t purged the second(kill me now)
    You really should get some sleep sweetie, it does slow down your metabolysm not sleeping and besides it´s a horrible way to punish yourself.
    Hope your day goes well

  2. Hope today is a better day! I know your pain.