Do you ever get so confused that you can't tell what is up and what is down? Do you ever have so much trouble focusing, finding your vision blurring within the first two seconds of gazing at an object? Do you ever find yourself lost in yourself and feeling like you're just living in a dream? Or maybe a nightmare? I do.
I've been so confused these past few days and have been trying hard to lock myself up within and ignore the world around me. I do this a lot and succeed in forgetting the outside world completely. When I'm nervous or anxious about something, I just pretend like it doesn't exist and ignore he problem, not bothering to find a solution. But I work tomorrow, so I suppose reality is going to hit me when I find myself having to deal with people again and an actual routine. I think I need people around me in order to stay grounded because otherwise I just get a little lost. Yet, at the same time, I like to be by myself because other people just don't understand me. Maybe I just don't like the fact that it's good for my well being to socialize on occasion, but then again, when do I ever like things that are healthy for me?
My post today is short, strange, and a little all over the place. My brain is just having trouble focusing because of too much bingeing/purging it the past few days. You know how intentionally reversing natural direction of food through body tends to muddle the brain. So I'm going to bed since I have to get up early for work, and I'm hoping that I will be more inspired, more in tune with myself, and possibly less manic tomorrow. We shall see, I suppose.