New Day

Okay, so obviously I failed Sunday's ABC plan. The stress of everything just kind of came toppling down one me, and I binged. I don't binge very often, and I'm working on pulling myself back together now. I've been trying to figure out the next steps in my plan, but I'm not really sure what to do. I liked having the structure of the ABC diet with a set amount of calories designated for each day, but I don't know if I should try something a bit more lax for a little while while I recoup. Yesterday I had less than 400 calories, but I couldn't calculate the exact number because of the half salad that I ate for dinner (I don't know how many calories of the 200 total I consumed). Regardless, I did well technically, but I still feel gross. I am at the weight I was on Sunday still, pre binge, but it's depressing. I would feel so much better if I was a few pounds lighter rather than the same weight...

I am going home in a few days (Friday, to be exact), and I am very much looking forward to seeing my family. I plan on making my maximum calorie limit 400 for each day I'm home. It shouldn't be too difficult for me to pretend to have breakfast and hopefully lunch as well, so dinner will be the only thing I'll be eating in public. In the morning, I plan on heating up a bowl of oatmeal, letting it sit for a little while in the bowl, and then stealthily dumping it in the sink. A dirty bowl means I ate it, yes? As for lunch, I can always make a sandwich, leave a bit of crust, and throw the rest down the disposal. My mom will probably be painting in her studio at some points during the day, which is how I can get away with things like that. She's very supportive of my not eating much because I am such a happier person when I'm thinner. She just wants me to be happy, which is really great.

If anyone has some good ideas for a diet, please let me know! I've heard many times that fluctuating how much you eat is a really good idea, but I'm not sure what numbers would be good. I don't want to eat more than 500 on any given day, and I still need to lose a lot of weight...HELP!