Sunday, May 16, 2010


Good job, you all guessed correctly...not to belittle your impeccable perception skills, but when I looked at the picture again, I realized it was fairly obvious.  But I congratulate you nonetheless.

An update on my weekend:  I officially suck as a human being.  I saw myself in a window on my walk home from reading in a bookstore and coffee shop (yes, I read in both haha), and I was mortified.  I wanted to sink to the ground and die on the spot when I saw my reflection.  Hopefully windows make you look fatter than you are, but I doubt it.  It's just kind of devastating finding yourself so repulsive, ya know?  Traumatizing.  So, I ended up bingeing on some nutella after just having blueberries all day...I need to stop bingeing and purging at night because ultimately, that's where I go today.  I baked a red velvet cake, which was disgusting, and at some of it before throwing it away and throwing up in the bathroom for a while.  Now I feel sufficiently empty again, but my stomach hurts and my head throbs.  Tomorrow is going to be a rough day, I'm sure.  I kind of wonder sometimes when all this purging is going to catch up to me.  I'm sure it's already ruining my body, but I have yet to have anything serious occur so I think I'm still in the clear.  I'm starting a 2463 diet with a friend tomorrow.  The 800 calories day just seemed too much [oh my god, there's an adorable commercial on tv with a golden retriever its a car commercial, warm fuzzy feeling officially gone...damn], so we altered it.  Even though I totally ate more than that today, but that was because of a binge.  For some reason, intentionally eating that amount without purging is just beyond my comprehension.

I hope everyone else had a good weekend because I sure didn't.  Of course, I don't know the last time I had a good one.

1 comment:

  1. I had the EXACT same night last night. I feel your pain right now.