Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Mama Visit

My mom's coming up on Saturday, and I'm really excited.  We'll probably be going shopping, which usually consists of her trying to dress me to her liking (I swear she thinks I'm a doll sometimes) and me choosing some frilly, romantic looking sweater instead.  Our two style's are completely different, but I admit that she does a pretty good job guessing what I would like anyway.  She's more of a Talbots or Chico's kind of person, like most moms, while I like to dress as a cross between a free spirit and country club girl.  I am obsessed with lace, chunky knits, scarves, long necklaces, and anything gold.  I'm basically covered head to toe with lots of layers, showing absolutely none of my form, which further irritates my mother.  I have that "hour glass" figure, but I like to cover it up...although I am secretly proud that I have a very small waist...too bad I cover it up anyway haha

One thing I'll have to be extra careful about this weekend though is making sure my arms are fully covered at all times.  That's really not a problem for me, considering I'm always wearing a long sleeved sweater and the weather is cooling off, but lately now sleeves have become, not just a preference, but vital.  You might be able to guess why my arms can't be shown to the public, and I'm a little embarrassed about it.  And no, it's not because they're excessively fat (although they are, in my opinion), but people would be a little shunned by the little lines currently littering my forearms.  I feel like I've already been headed down a self destructive path (clearly), and this is just yet another hump that I had to cross.  I don't go very deep because requiring stitches isn't really my goal; it's more just that I feel like I deserve it.  And it's probably more of that dark secret obsession that I seem to have.  It's something I can call my own.

Speaking of which, has anyone noticed that there's going to be a special on eating disorders on E! ?  My roommate was mocking it earlier, and I know that I'm DEFINITELY not going to be around to watch it. I think the word "awkward" doesn't even begin to explain how I would feel if I did watch it, especially with a roommate who doesn't think I have a problem...which is best but yeah, not watching it.

1 comment:

  1. i can so relate to the scars thing. mine are only on my upper arm but i still can't wear tank tops and stuff anymore, which SUCKS cuz summer is coming soon and i am going to be sweltering. ah well.