I'm Back

Hey, everyone, I'm back and with internet service.  I actually had service in Chicago but barely...it would only work every once in a while and was very slow so I didn't really try to use it.  I did really well in the beginning, but I crashed and burned after a while.  Thanksgiving has too much food, and all activities seem to revolve around it.  It's quite irritating, but I think that with a little hard work I'll be back to normal in a few days.  I only gained a few pounds, and probably no one else would notice but me.  On the plus side, though, I got a lot of adorable clothes!  I needed new skinny jeans because my old ones were so stretched out that they could hardly be called "skinny."  I now have a new pair of designer skinny jeans, which while pricey are totally worth it.  I'm the kind of person who would splurge on a good pair of jeans because they're hard to find and the expensive ones seem to be the only ones that actually fit me properly.  But I've worn them several times already, and I've only had them for a few days.  I also got a pair of over the knee black boots that are flat so that I can wear them all the time, and my mom bought me a few things because she thought they were too cute to pass up.  I love it when she decides to buy me things...maybe she does it because I don't expect her to or ask.  She's a good mom.

I'm glad it's finally the Christmas season, and I can freely listen to Christmas music without any guilt.  I love seeing the lights, decorations, everything.  There were many giant Christmas trees in Chicago downtown, and I was so excited to see it all.  I'm like a little child when it comes to the holidays.  And now I only have one week of hell before my finals, and I'm really hoping that I'll pass them all.  I can't even begin to describe how much it would suck and how embarrassing it would be should I fail a class because then I couldn't graduate early.  Everyone I know already knows I'm prepped to graduate in March, and I couldn't imagine how terrible it would feel to tell them I have yet another quarter because I'm dumb.  But I have no one to blame but myself and my preference for self destruction over school.  I've already wasted the entire day in misery, cutting my hip and my arms in retribution for the few pounds I've gained, and now my skinny jeans are really killing the aching skin on my hip.  Tight jeans brushing over freshly cut skin does not equal a good time, but I deserve it so I'll suck it up.  That was my plan all along anyway, fully knowing what I was going to be wearing and how it would feel.  That's so fucked up, but I can't help it.

So now I'm going to go study, drink some coffee, and maybe eat something for the first time today.  Probably some Holiday Gingerbread from Starbucks...it's not exactly good for you but when it's the only thing you eat that day....I'll still lose weight.