There are times when you haven't seen a friend in a while and it's just like old times. Those are always great moments, and I think that's what makes a truly great friend. Then there are times when you see a friend after a while, and you don't know what to say. Sometimes you feel as though you've never met them at all, and it's only their face that's recognizable. I've been feeling like that with nearly all my so called "friends" (or rather, acquaintances) lately, including my roommate. How can I feel further apart from someone that I live with?
I saw her when I was studying today, and it felt so strange. I didn't feel like I knew her at all, or maybe it's really the other way around. I've changed a lot, or at least I've let my past and my thoughts consume my life. I've bottled myself up inside so much that I no longer have anything to say, for fear of spilling anything too personal, and she never asks me anything about my day anyway. And perhaps that's part of the problem that's caused our drifting apart as well. I don't know that she's necessarily had to deal with people as, well, "screwed up" as I am, and her life is much more stable than my own. I can't help but wonder sometimes if she notices something is wrong or not because I always think I'm more secretive than I actually am. People always figure things out in the end, as much as we try to keep things hidden.
But my point was just how strange it is to look at the face of someone who used to be a friend and feel no connection. It's almost as though you want to cock your head to side and say, "Huh, you look familiar." That would be rude, of course, since you know each other, but I swear it feels like a dream rather than reality. Then again, everything in my life seems more like a dream (or a nightmare)...which is why I really want to get that tattoo I've mentioned...
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