Monday, April 26, 2010

"I hate my face" True Life

 I was watching True Life last night, the one called “I hate my face,” and not gonna lie, I thought the girls were nuts.  Feeling so upset and depressed that you have to get several plastic surgery operations to supposedly make yourself feel better (when clearly it’s an underlying problem) is so shocking to me.  Then I realized the complete irony of the situation.  How am I acting much differently?

Of course, my revelation is not going to chance my actions because the effect of the program was very short lived, not to mention I still refuse to believe I have a deep problem anyway, but it was still interesting to see other people thinking in ways similar to myself.  Those girls, however, will have less long term problems most likely since they aren’t slowly destroying their organs, but their ways of handling issues are much more blatant.  Obviously going under the knife is not very subtle.  Plus, I feel like faces are not something you can really change like your body.  A fat body reflects a lack of discipline and self control, so I can't help but feel hating your body is not the same as hating your face.  I like to think I’m not that screwed up like that, but I’m sure if other people found out what I do they would think I was nuts as well.  I’d prefer to keep living under the illusion that I’m normal though.

On a positive note, though, about this date!  I’m not sure exactly what we’re going to do, but I think play tennis and then dinner?  I’m trying not to think about dinner…it’s possible he remembers about my little eating problem since it was kind of a thing in high school but perhaps not.  I can’t decide if I want him to remember or not…guess I’ll find out eventually.  But I’m really excited for our date because we’ve been talking about it for weeks.  He goes to a different college than me so I haven’t really seen him in a few years.  I’ll keep you updated on how it goes, and what should I wear?!  I have cute tennis outfits since that was my sport in high school but still…

Oh and Holly, you are SO right…even though I have a fake, it’s still the principle of the thing!  Why do I have to wait two more months??? Stupid drinking age…

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