Monday, February 8, 2010

Day One Down!

Okay, so today I had Cinnamon Roll oatmeal (delicious), which was 160 calories, and sushi (??? calories). Generally, eight rolls of sushi is around 250 calories, but I'm honestly not sure how much this one was. I think that considering the only other calories I consumed was the oatmeal that I'm in the clear. So, day one is completed, and I'm just sipping on some diet A&W (0 calories). I have to say, I was BEYOND excitement when I saw that I had one comment. Thank you so much! I just get excited to see that someone has read my post, and I highly encourage all comments, even if you just want to say something short. I know that sounds so selfish of me, but sometimes I just really need encouragement.

Now, I have some off topic thoughts that I just wanted to mention, and I am curious about other people's thoughts and advice. I am 20 years old, and I have never had a boyfriend. I have no trouble finding dates, but I rarely actually want to go on them. Moms tend to want to hold off on their daughters dating, but my mom is always trying to get me to go on them. The reason is because I am beyond picky. I expect a guy to be absolutely perfect the moment I meet them, and I notice all of their flaws before anything else. I am extremely judgmental in this arena, and I tend to think that unless they are conservative, drink coffee, love to ski, and play tennis (aka the male version of me), then they aren't worth my time. It's really terrible. Who cares if a guy doesn't like coffee? Does that even affect a relationship in any way? The obvious answer is no, it doesn't. Yet, my stubborn brain can't see beyond such superficial things no matter how many times I tell myself this.

After reading an article that my mom showed me yesterday, I learned a few things that should have seemed obvious. The article was titled, "Seven Mistakes that Single Women Make." Unlike many articles about the mistakes that women make when dating, this one described the mistakes women make when they reject men. I found it fascinating and very applicable to my situation. I complain all the time about not having a boyfriend, but the fault is all mine because I never give a guy a chance.

There were two points that I found the most helpful. The first was that women tend to think that there is always someone better. Instead of thinking about how a guy is good enough, we tend to wonder if we will meet someone who is even more perfect than what we've already found. The author compared it to shopping for a sweater. You find the perfect blue sweater, but then you decide you want to look around a little bit in case you find one that's better. A few months later, you realize that either a) you still loved the first one or b) you did find a second one but was it really that much better in the first place? Probably not. The reality is that no one is perfect, not even you, and what one guy lacks he makes up for in something else. The second point was that you can't expect the guy to have your exact same interests. So he doesn't like coffee, no big deal. If he's never skied before? Oh well, he can learn sometimes. Guys don't expect a girl to sit down and watch the baseball game with him, so why do we expect them to be interested in the things we love?

My goal is to stop being so judgmental and give a guy a chance, but I'm already kind of failing at it. I'm totally going home next weekend because I don't want to deal with Valentine's day. I did that last year, too, and said no to someone that I wasn't that interested in by making the excuse of going home...I'm a terrible person. Does anyone else do this? It's really impractical for me to be so picky, and I'm going to end up as one of those old ladies with lots of cats. And I don't even like cats!


  1. Wahoo go ABC diet, we can do this (:
    And of course, I think everyone does that, but I think you have to get past it, like most people, and see him for who he is.
    Make is imperfections turn into perfections.
    And his perfections stick out.
    maybe he doesn't like the same things you do, but you always can do things you both enjoy. Or just start doing things together you never know what you will like together if you just try.
    That kind of seems like a fairytail, but try it out you never know something unless you try.
    Stay strong

  2. Heya I just turned 22 and I've never had a boyfriend. I think my problem is that I don't think I'm good enough. I'm scared they'll look at me and be like 'oh my word gross, who does she think she's kidding?'. Plus I'm far too fussy. Plus I tend to flirt with guys I really don't like hence giving them the idea that I do like them which gives me bigger problems ;) haha! I'm trying to change this behaviour this year so hopefully that works out and I can actually have a functional relationship before I die. Good luck on ABC :)

  3. I totally know what you mean about guys.
    I'm always picking at things. I turned down a guy who was almost perfect for me because I didn't like his dress sense and he had dry lips. Although perhaps that just means I'm insufferably shallow =/
    There have been a few guys that I have inexplicably become totally obsessed with though, and these, of course are always the ones not at all interested in me =/
    Still, I don't think fussiness is necessarily a bad thing, I know this sounds totally old fashioned and unrealistic, but I think everyone should hold out until they find that magic. It's when you feel a spark with someone regardless of everything that you know they're right.

    Oh wow I said loads sorry.

  4. I totally hear you about the guy thing! I'm 18 and have only had one boyfriend so far, and even that relationship lasted for like, 3 months. I always find fault with the guys that even come close for me to date. And I think the worst thing EVER is to feel ashamed of your own boyfriend, so I can't stand it once I've already subconsciously picked out his imperfections and am already cringing at being with him.

    I think you're right. Give the guy a chance. Though now that I've seen your post (and related so much to it!) I can understand why there's such a number of spinsters, or even widows, out there. I've always wondered why my aunt never remarried.