Now, I have some off topic thoughts that I just wanted to mention, and I am curious about other people's thoughts and advice. I am 20 years old, and I have never had a boyfriend. I have no trouble finding dates, but I rarely actually want to go on them. Moms tend to want to hold off on their daughters dating, but my mom is always trying to get me to go on them. The reason is because I am beyond picky. I expect a guy to be absolutely perfect the moment I meet them, and I notice all of their flaws before anything else. I am extremely judgmental in this arena, and I tend to think that unless they are conservative, drink coffee, love to ski, and play tennis (aka the male version of me), then they aren't worth my time. It's really terrible. Who cares if a guy doesn't like coffee? Does that even affect a relationship in any way? The obvious answer is no, it doesn't. Yet, my stubborn brain can't see beyond such superficial things no matter how many times I tell myself this.
After reading an article that my mom showed me yesterday, I learned a few things that should have seemed obvious. The article was titled, "Seven Mistakes that Single Women Make." Unlike many articles about the mistakes that women make when dating, this one described the mistakes women make when they reject men. I found it fascinating and very applicable to my situation. I complain all the time about not having a boyfriend, but the fault is all mine because I never give a guy a chance.
There were two points that I found the most helpful. The first was that women tend to think that there is always someone better. Instead of thinking about how a guy is good enough, we tend to wonder if we will meet someone who is even more perfect than what we've already found. The author compared it to shopping for a sweater. You find the perfect blue sweater, but then you decide you want to look around a little bit in case you find one that's better. A few months later, you realize that either a) you still loved the first one or b) you did find a second one but was it really that much better in the first place? Probably not. The reality is that no one is perfect, not even you, and what one guy lacks he makes up for in something else. The second point was that you can't expect the guy to have your exact same interests. So he doesn't like coffee, no big deal. If he's never skied before? Oh well, he can learn sometimes. Guys don't expect a girl to sit down and watch the baseball game with him, so why do we expect them to be interested in the things we love?
My goal is to stop being so judgmental and give a guy a chance, but I'm already kind of failing at it. I'm totally going home next weekend because I don't want to deal with Valentine's day. I did that last year, too, and said no to someone that I wasn't that interested in by making the excuse of going home...I'm a terrible person. Does anyone else do this? It's really impractical for me to be so picky, and I'm going to end up as one of those old ladies with lots of cats. And I don't even like cats!