Rejection

I received notice that I was rejected from yet another internship. It's odd that companies tell you "congratulations"...on applying, but then they continue to tell you that they don't believe your qualifications meet their standards. I wasn't really upset about it, though, because I assumed that I wouldn't get the position when I applied. That's probably not the best perspective, but it was an electronic application so it's not like they were aware of my pessimism. Maybe I will get lucky and manage to find something to do this summer other than work in a cafe, but I'm not holding my breath.

Right now I am sitting on my couch watching Paula Deen cook up outrageously fattening dishes. They look good, I guess, but I'm not really one for southern homestyle cooking. I prefer Italian cuisine...or sushi. But I just think Paula is so adorable that I watch her anyway, all the while cringing when she puts in an entire stick of butter...or a cup of mayonnaise (which I think she's about to do since it's coleslaw, ew). Oh wait! Only half a cup...my bad. Moving on, I wonder if I just like to watch the food network because it almost makes me feel less deprived. Although sometimes this habit backfires and makes me start craving ice cream. Fortunately, I'm just not in the mood right now. I just ate a salad that was probably around 200 calories because of that damn cheese. I thought about going through and picking out all the cheese, but sadly, I was too lazy. I regret that now, especially since I also had oatmeal for lunch. That puts me around 430 calories! Ridiculous. Why am I so gross?!

I just haven't felt pretty in such a long time, and it's frustrating. I'm sure part of the problem is the fact that Valentine's Day is this weekend, and while I've already ranted about it, I just can't get it off my mind. In addition, my knee is destroying me. I have yet to figure out exactly what's wrong with it, but I see the doctor again on Tuesday. This has been going on since September, and you'd think that someone would have figured out the problem by now! Rest is clearly not the solution because I can't walk right now, let alone work out. I really hate not being able to burn off the food I've been eating. I would be so much thinner if I could. As soon as the weather warms up, I am going to go swim laps. I would do so inside, of course, so you might wonder why I'm not doing that now (other than my knee that feels like it's about to fall off). Since I live off campus at college, I don't want to have to deal with walking around for about twenty minutes after swimming with a wet head. And jumping into a cold pool just doesn't sound appealing when I'm trudging through snow all day. You'd think the rolls covering my body would motivate me, but maybe that's what's keeping me out of a swimsuit too...

Does anyone have any great plans for the weekend? I love seeing all the cute heart candies and whatnot around this time of year, even though I hate Valentine's Day. I'm a bitter, single girl, I admit it.