Today was a good day with the exception of me eating delicious meals and then purging on three separate occasions. So that makes five times in three days? My throat is really sore, and it's hard to swallow. But today was the only day that I actually ate much food, so I can continue my quest of not eating tomorrow without having gained any weight. In fact, I've lost weight since I've come home, which almost never happens. It's probably because I was depressed because of what happened on Thursday. The funeral is on Wednesday, so that is going to be an emotional day for me.
A strange thing happened to me a few minutes ago. As you know, my roommate got mad at me for being upset that a friend died and I personally found her anger at me to be completely irrational and uncalled for. And even though I explained to her as best I could that I was not, in fact, angry with her but frustrated with my situation, she was still upset. So when I got back to my college apartment, I waltzed in with a huge grin (pretending nothing happened to avoid awkward conversations as I usually do), raved about lava cakes, mentioned I would turn in our rent checks, and informed her I was going to bed. It was my usual self, just acting all chipper and cheery even though I totally wasn't. What did she do? NOTHING! Not a smile, not a word. She just looked at me. What is this? I thought for sure I could coax a smile. It's not like we even had a fight about anything in particular. Does anyone have any advice? I'm like a guy; I avoid any deep conversations at all times because I can't stand displaying emotions...And I'm being very self righteous about this predicament because I am in the firm belief that I am right for being upset and she is wrong for blaming me. (I can be very stubborn, but I would never have taken it personally like she did. In fact, I have told a depressed friend before in high school that if she needed someone to yell at sometime just to relieve her emotions to just let me know...)