Thursday, April 1, 2010

Not an April Fool's Joke

They say that bad things happen in threes, and today they certainly did.
1) Caribou was out of northern lite cooler mix so I had to settle on a skinny iced latte, but I had really been looking forward to the espresso lite cooler all day.
2) I got lost on the highway (after incident #3)
3) A girl I've known since grade school AND her dad died in a plane crash today on their way to Chicago.
At first when I heard the news, I was stunned, and I called my mom. Then it occurred to me, what if this was some sick April Fool's joke? Some people have no sense, and I had to be sure. But it wasn't a joke; she's really gone. And although I haven't spoken to her since high school and although we haven't really been real "friends" since we were little, I cried. I never cry. But there I was on the highway (which is where I was when I found out), still with 90 minutes to go before I could be home. My throat and eyes are still dry, and I definitely looked like a mess. I couldn't help but wonder why such a great person could die in such a terrible accident. And not only her but her dad as well, leaving her mother and older sister with this incredible loss and pain that I cannot even begin to imagine. I was so furious with myself for crying because she deserves more than my mere tears, and I felt selfish for crying and feeling sorry for myself when there are many other people for whom this will have a greater impact. I blame my lack of eating and sleeping for my emotional instability.

When I got lost on the highway, my roommate called me to tell me the news of which I had already heard. She quickly learned I was lost from my frantic voice and unpleasant tone and started getting mad at me for being upset and getting mad at her...really? She had to make this about her?! I had just learned an hour prior that a girl I knew was dead and was lost on the highway wanting nothing more than getting home, and she was telling me not to yell at her. And despite my repeated attempts to explain to her that I was not, in fact, upset with her but the entire situation I was in, she still took everything personally. To put it simply, I was an emotional wreck after this phone conversation. Everyone reacts to a death differently, and I would NEVER assume someone was angry with me after a tragedy because that's pure selfishness.

The only positive side of this day was that I still had less than 250 calories (no emotional bingeing, thank god), but only lost 0.2 lbs from yesterday...tomorrow I had better lose more. And it's Good Friday, which is technically a fasting day for Catholics....legit excuse not to eat.

2 comments:

  1. I'm sorry to hear that :( I feel so terrible for the families of those people...when I was in grade school, a girl I knew and her dad died in a car crash on their way to get ice cream...something so innocent resulted in leaving the girl's sister and mom totally alone. Tragedies always seem to happen to the best of us :(

    I really hate when people take everything so personally; it's so selfish of them. I'm sorry to hear the bad news, I hope the girl's family is coping as best as they can.
    xoxo

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  2. appartently, it was a single engine plane from the airport a mile or so from where i live (i found the article online about it), so it was only the two of them. i just can't believe it happened; they were just on the way to pick up the elder sister from med school for easter...horrible.

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