Tuesday, May 25, 2010


I had a terrifying, or rather series, set of dreams last night (or more accurately, nightmares).  I'm currently perched on my bed still in my pajamas, and the memory of the dreams has somewhat faded with my wakefulness so I cannot go into detail.  I can, however, give you a general idea of what my twisted mind decided to create in my sleepy bliss.  It's long:

After finishing my term paper last night, I wasn't really tired so I didn't actually lay down to go to sleep until 5am...thought about not sleeping at all.  At one point in my dream, I was living in a house with a group of my friends, and for some reason a guy in our group decided to poison me with "(something) dehydrogenase"?  I don't think it was an actual substance, but my chemistry major background was apparently sneaking into my imagination.  I didn't know it was one of two lethal drugs whose effects cannot be reversed, and after it already made its way into my system, I was informed of this.  Two of my friends, Bethenny and Alex from Real Housewives of NYC were at lunch and Bethenny told Alex about the substance.  She wrote it down because she was an organic chemist or something in my dream, and that's when they realized I would be dying.  In my dream, I could feel it burning (probably a result of the sun seeping through the blinds in my room) and found it really painful.  A few other minor things happened, but I guess I was supposed to die.

The next part of my dream brought me to sleeping in my room while two of my friends were talking in the other room.  One of them was having marital problems and is actually married in real life.  The other came in to wake me up to find out the bus schedule.  When they left, I was suddenly in a different house with another one of my friends as my roommate.  She was giving me things so that I could take a shower in this massive bathroom on the top floor of the house.  And, for some odd reason, the flesh of the skin on my right foot was completely coming off, beginning in a heart shape.  We tried to find neosporin in her room, but all we could find were colored pencils.  That part didn't hurt, and I don't remember too much of what else happened.  Some boy drama, blah blah blah...

Then I got in a fight with my mom in another odd house and refused to talk to my family...we got into some fight over cookies.  I escaped through the window and an elevator like contraption.  My dad saw me leave while he was on the treadmill? and didn't care.  I wandered along a river that was filled with baby animals, ducklings, puppies, etc.  The ducks were cute, but soon they were overwhelming me and an old man helped me get out of the shallow water.

The final part of my dream was ed related.  I was sitting with two other women, who were telling me the story of an anorexic and a bulimic girl.  The anorexic one died, and the bulimic girl somehow survived; they were dancers I guess.  I was afraid to hear their stories, and while we were waiting for something I walked over to the cement wall and started to cry.  The wall was red with blood and I watched, entranced, as trickles of water (my tears maybe) slowly was washing away the blood.  But I was sickened by the redness as it continued to flow down.  

That's the general idea of everything that happened last night in my dream.  I know a lot of it doesn't make sense, but when do dreams ever?  When I read over it again, it's really rather creepy.  So much death, physical torture, and I was literally in pain in most of the scenes.  The terror and knot in the pit of my stomach when I discovered I was poisoned and doomed to die in an excruciating manner felt so real.  I remember having visions of my insides turning into liquid and me foaming at the mouth.  I thought, "Is this it?  My life is really over?"  I didn't like that feeling; I don't want to die yet.  But anyway, on a more realistic note, I'm doing a liquid fast today and for as long as possible.  I'm starting what is called the "Book Diet" on June 1, and for all you eager beavers and curious cats, I'll go into detail about it in a few days in case anyone would like to join.  If you go to PT, you can find it...looks promising and combines two of my favorite things:  reading and not eating!

1 comment:

  1. Here is my comment! (:
    ANd maybe they all man something, like they are symbolic for something.
    I don't know what the weird poison one was about, but the other two do sound like they make sense.
    Tell me if I am wrong, but you don't like being in your skin. So maybe thats why you dreamt that. And that it was a heart shaped because you need to allow to love yourself for other people to love you. And the other one is pretty easy...
    Or they all might of jsut been dreams.
    I don't know, but that's what I got from them.
    Arii K.